Friday, February 19, 2010


Did any of you get the idea that Tiger Woods's apology speech today was highly rehearsed? The words sounded remarkably like that stuff that addiction therapists beat into your brain in order to keep you from doing what you were doing that brought you to their intention in the first place.

One upside to it: For the first time ever, we all saw Tiger Woods getting emotional. I was convinced that he was simply a golfing robot. He has no ability to talk about anything else, and even when he talks about golf it's like rote.

I don't watch golf; I don't care, but I know the golf community cares because this guy is the ONLY guy that non-golfers tune in to watch. He should have done this months ago.

But then of course, he had to wait for the teeth that Elin didn't break with the golf club she didn't swing in his face to not heal because nothing like that happened. Yeah, right.

Now that you can talk without lisping through the fake teeth, enjoy your new denture plate, Tiger.


I'm at the Alwun House tonight, 8 p.m. for the Erotic Music and Poetry Festivus, and at Fiddler's Dream tomorrow night for the first set at 8 p.m.


Our washing machine broke. Dammit.


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