Sunday, April 04, 2004
Last night my wife and I watched an epsisode of a cable-TV reality show called "Can You Be A Porn Star?" I watched this out of a combination of boredom and prurient interest. By the time it was over, I was even more bored and hardly aroused by what I saw.
This episode, which apparently was episode 7, showed the remaining finalists (grand prize: you get to star in a porno movie and you win 100 grand, which if you know anything about the porn industry would make you the highest-paid porn star in the world, probably) engaging in such non-porno activities as bashing a penis-shaped pinata, while a panel of judges from the porn industry watched. For what reason there were judges to watch a pinata contest was never explained.
There was also an intriguing (NOT) scene where all the girls received an easter basket full of sexual goodies, none of which they actually used or even bothered to unwrap.
For the life of me, I don't understand how any of these things makes someone right for becoming a porn star.
You DO get to see one finalist "act" in a porno scene, and then engage in the most R-rated porno I've ever seen. (Notice I said R-rated. I don't even think it qualifies as porn. In fact, if we were in any other country this would probably air on commercial T V in the afternoon.)
On top of all this, and here's where Mr. 25-years-in-advertising-and-production gets on his high horse, the production values here are worse than the worst porno movie I've ever seen. It's a three-camera shoot, using three cameras whose white balances have been set to different values, so every time one camera cuts to another, all the tones change on your screen. After a while it's sickening.
And the sound -- don't get me started. 75% of the show sounds as if the speakers were bei ng picked up by a mic in another room.
Anyway, after about 25 minutes of derisively ridiculing this show in unison, Janice (my wife) finally drifted off to sleep, leaving me to see if I could make it through to the end of the show. It ended with the thr ee professional porn people critiquing the R-rated porno scene and agreeing that the girl may have something there.
All I can say is thank God this wasn't called "Can You Be a Porn Producer?" because this piece of dreck doesn't even qualify as good TV, m uc h less libido inducing entertainment.ss
This episode, which apparently was episode 7, showed the remaining finalists (grand prize: you get to star in a porno movie and you win 100 grand, which if you know anything about the porn industry would make you the highest-paid porn star in the world, probably) engaging in such non-porno activities as bashing a penis-shaped pinata, while a panel of judges from the porn industry watched. For what reason there were judges to watch a pinata contest was never explained.
There was also an intriguing (NOT) scene where all the girls received an easter basket full of sexual goodies, none of which they actually used or even bothered to unwrap.
For the life of me, I don't understand how any of these things makes someone right for becoming a porn star.
You DO get to see one finalist "act" in a porno scene, and then engage in the most R-rated porno I've ever seen. (Notice I said R-rated. I don't even think it qualifies as porn. In fact, if we were in any other country this would probably air on commercial T V in the afternoon.)
On top of all this, and here's where Mr. 25-years-in-advertising-and-production gets on his high horse, the production values here are worse than the worst porno movie I've ever seen. It's a three-camera shoot, using three cameras whose white balances have been set to different values, so every time one camera cuts to another, all the tones change on your screen. After a while it's sickening.
And the sound -- don't get me started. 75% of the show sounds as if the speakers were bei ng picked up by a mic in another room.
Anyway, after about 25 minutes of derisively ridiculing this show in unison, Janice (my wife) finally drifted off to sleep, leaving me to see if I could make it through to the end of the show. It ended with the thr ee professional porn people critiquing the R-rated porno scene and agreeing that the girl may have something there.
All I can say is thank God this wasn't called "Can You Be a Porn Producer?" because this piece of dreck doesn't even qualify as good TV, m uc h less libido inducing entertainment.ss
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