Wednesday, June 22, 2005
The brain is a fascinating thing.
You can be SITTING THERE, MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS, when your brain will produce, without request, without suggestion, a memory so abominable, so hideous, so unbelievably BAD that you find yourself contemplating it all day.
In my head, my brain does this in the form of "song leeches."
A song leech is a song that gets stuck in your head for DAYS. I never get good songs stuck in my head. It' always a dumb song that I haven't heard in years.
The last song to get really good and stuck was one I head on an internet radio station: "That's where I went Wrong" by the Poppy Family. Remember that one? Neither did I until the DAMN THING APPEARED ON MY RADIO/PUTER!
But that does not even compare to the one I cannot get out of my head now. It's a song that I bet most of you don't remember.
It's from 1966! The same year that gave you Monday Monday, Nowhere Man and tons of other great songs, but I get this one;
It's by a singer named Susan Christie.
Title?
Get ready...
...here it comes...
"I Love Onions."
Yes, there was a hit song in 1966 called I Love Onions. I hadn't even thought about it since oh, maybe 1980 or whenever was the last time Dr. Demento played it and I was an avid listener.
You don't remember "I Love Onions!" Let me refresh your memory and take you kicking and screaming into the lyrics:
I don't like snails or toads or frogs
Or strange things living under logs
But mmm, I love onions
I don't like to dance with Crazy Ted
He's always jumping on my head
But mmm, I love onions
{Refrain}
Onions, onions, la-la-la
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot
Onions, onions, la-la-la
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot
I don't like rain or snow or hail
Or Moby Dick the great white whale
But mmm, I love onions
I don't like shoes that pinch your toes
Or people who squirt you with a garden hose
But mmm, I love onions
{Refrain}
Onion is a tuberous vegetable, and is a member of the genus Stinkus Delicioso. It was highly prized by the ancient Egyptian pharaohs and their friends and cousins. It causes watering of the eyes and rubifaction of the skin but it is very, very tasty.
{Refrain}
How vewwy, vewwy good
------
No, that is just vewwy vewwy WRONG.
And now I bet it's stuck in YOUR head, too.
You're welcome.
TT
You can be SITTING THERE, MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS, when your brain will produce, without request, without suggestion, a memory so abominable, so hideous, so unbelievably BAD that you find yourself contemplating it all day.
In my head, my brain does this in the form of "song leeches."
A song leech is a song that gets stuck in your head for DAYS. I never get good songs stuck in my head. It' always a dumb song that I haven't heard in years.
The last song to get really good and stuck was one I head on an internet radio station: "That's where I went Wrong" by the Poppy Family. Remember that one? Neither did I until the DAMN THING APPEARED ON MY RADIO/PUTER!
But that does not even compare to the one I cannot get out of my head now. It's a song that I bet most of you don't remember.
It's from 1966! The same year that gave you Monday Monday, Nowhere Man and tons of other great songs, but I get this one;
It's by a singer named Susan Christie.
Title?
Get ready...
...here it comes...
"I Love Onions."
Yes, there was a hit song in 1966 called I Love Onions. I hadn't even thought about it since oh, maybe 1980 or whenever was the last time Dr. Demento played it and I was an avid listener.
You don't remember "I Love Onions!" Let me refresh your memory and take you kicking and screaming into the lyrics:
I don't like snails or toads or frogs
Or strange things living under logs
But mmm, I love onions
I don't like to dance with Crazy Ted
He's always jumping on my head
But mmm, I love onions
{Refrain}
Onions, onions, la-la-la
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot
Onions, onions, la-la-la
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot
I don't like rain or snow or hail
Or Moby Dick the great white whale
But mmm, I love onions
I don't like shoes that pinch your toes
Or people who squirt you with a garden hose
But mmm, I love onions
{Refrain}
Onion is a tuberous vegetable, and is a member of the genus Stinkus Delicioso. It was highly prized by the ancient Egyptian pharaohs and their friends and cousins. It causes watering of the eyes and rubifaction of the skin but it is very, very tasty.
{Refrain}
How vewwy, vewwy good
------
No, that is just vewwy vewwy WRONG.
And now I bet it's stuck in YOUR head, too.
You're welcome.
TT
Comments:
Susan Christie's "I Love Onions" turns up on the 1993 Time-Life CD "Golden Goofers" and is a GREAT track. The catchy tune, crazy lyrics, kazoo-led backup, whimsical arrangement and breathy lead vocals are PERFECT. The only reason I can think of why this was not a bigger hit in 1966 was the fact that Columbia had, at that point, just barely begun releasing rock 'n' roll material (Paul Revere & The Raiders were their first venture outside a roster of nearly all adult pop artists, such as Andy Williams) and I can only assume that their promotion department simply was not geared for such goodtime gold as this. I'd love to learn more about Susan Christie, who cut both sides of her only hit in Philadelphia in February 1966. Columbia only issued two other singles by her (neither scored): "Toy Balloon"/"Tonight You Belong To Me" in April '67 and "All I Have To Do Is Dream"/"Anywhere You Are" that October..Was there ever an album? And whatever happened to Susan Christie? Inquiring minds would like to know.
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