Monday, June 20, 2005
I am an eye guy.
You know how some guys are leg men, ass men, tit men, whole-body-men, hair men, foot men (footmen? My horse, please), and virtually any other body-part-readily-visible-on-women men?
Well, I'm an eye guy.
My first (and only) steady girlfriend in high school had intriguing eyes. They (and the rest of her face) implied an Italian heritage, as she looked a lot like the type of women you saw painted a lot by Italian painters in the renaissance.
Penetrating, Mona-Lisa-like eyes that I swear made me see past all of the atrocious things about her that did eventually break us up. (But not before we got back together again a couple years later to do the kinds of stuff her father tried so hard to keep her from doing, if you get my drift.)
Another girl I dated for years had eyes so beautiful that I actually had to QUIT A CLASS in high school because I couldn't stop looking at her and found it impossible to concentrate.
I am a sucker for Asian female eyes, as our friend Susie will attest. She's Korican -- Half Korean, half Puerto Rican, and all she'd have to do to get me to jump naked into a vat of acid to retrieve a penny she dropped is bat those beautiful eyes at me and I'm goin' divin'.
I married my wife for thousands of reasons but what attracted me were her eyes.
I have wondered for years why I'm an eye guy. I don't think I buy into that "portal to the soul" stuff. God knows I look in my wife's eyes every day and have no idea what the hell's going on in there.
I don't have a good inborn B.S. detector, so I can't tell by someone's eyes if they're pulling a fast one on me or telling me the honest truth. So that's not why.
I guess that maybe, to me, the eyes, more than anything else, define what you look like. They're responsible for defining the upper third of your face, and unlike the nose, which can look quite different from various angles, with the eyes, what you see head-on is what you get.
Asian eyes aside, it's not an ethnic thing, either. It's just luck. You either have eyes that make me drool like my corgi watching while my son eats Doritos or you don't.
I've also considered the fact that maybe because I'm a nudist, and I'm comfortable with my body, your body, anybody's body, and have certainly seen my share of people in the altogether, that the eyes simply have it when it comes to saying, without words, who somebody is.
Now, all of this said, I have a confession to make. I am, as far as I know, a predominantly heterosexual man. I am 47 and have seen more than my share of representations, paintings, pictures, and personal presentations of the naked female form and plan to continue in pursuing this activity when it presents itself.
Which is why I am happy that it's summer in the Valley of the Sun, where it's going to be about 110 degrees today.
My confession is this: Even though I am an eye guy, if you're female, and you're going to wear thin white shirts that let me see what your breasts look like, I'm going to look. And appreciate it. Thanks in advance, in fact.
I was reminded of this actually about three weeks ago. I stopped somewhere to pick up dinner after recording my online radio show (Zappa Universe! Sundays, 6 p.m. MST at www.radiofreephoenix.com!) and while I was waiting for the order to be filled there was this group of young people eating dinner in the restaurant. One of them was a woman, about 20, wearing jeans and one of those ribbed white, thin-cotton sleeveless men's T-shirts that are essentially transparent. Which she was. And she clearly didn't care that I or anybody else got a look at what Frank Zappa once so poetically called her "mammalian protruberances," so I fully appreciated every time she got up, walked by, or whatever. I'm sure the waiter did, too.
So welcome summer! Welcome you white-shirted promoters of the female form! Excuse me my lecherous leers and keep 'em comin'. If you have great eyes, the better.
One more thing: back in my dating days, I went out a couple of times with a girl who had an ENORMOUS chest. She said the reason she liked going out with me was because I was the only guy she'd ever dated who didn't appear to be interested in her boobs. It wasn't until that moment that I even noticed that she HAD a big chest.
I was too busy staring at her eyes.
TT
You know how some guys are leg men, ass men, tit men, whole-body-men, hair men, foot men (footmen? My horse, please), and virtually any other body-part-readily-visible-on-women men?
Well, I'm an eye guy.
My first (and only) steady girlfriend in high school had intriguing eyes. They (and the rest of her face) implied an Italian heritage, as she looked a lot like the type of women you saw painted a lot by Italian painters in the renaissance.
Penetrating, Mona-Lisa-like eyes that I swear made me see past all of the atrocious things about her that did eventually break us up. (But not before we got back together again a couple years later to do the kinds of stuff her father tried so hard to keep her from doing, if you get my drift.)
Another girl I dated for years had eyes so beautiful that I actually had to QUIT A CLASS in high school because I couldn't stop looking at her and found it impossible to concentrate.
I am a sucker for Asian female eyes, as our friend Susie will attest. She's Korican -- Half Korean, half Puerto Rican, and all she'd have to do to get me to jump naked into a vat of acid to retrieve a penny she dropped is bat those beautiful eyes at me and I'm goin' divin'.
I married my wife for thousands of reasons but what attracted me were her eyes.
I have wondered for years why I'm an eye guy. I don't think I buy into that "portal to the soul" stuff. God knows I look in my wife's eyes every day and have no idea what the hell's going on in there.
I don't have a good inborn B.S. detector, so I can't tell by someone's eyes if they're pulling a fast one on me or telling me the honest truth. So that's not why.
I guess that maybe, to me, the eyes, more than anything else, define what you look like. They're responsible for defining the upper third of your face, and unlike the nose, which can look quite different from various angles, with the eyes, what you see head-on is what you get.
Asian eyes aside, it's not an ethnic thing, either. It's just luck. You either have eyes that make me drool like my corgi watching while my son eats Doritos or you don't.
I've also considered the fact that maybe because I'm a nudist, and I'm comfortable with my body, your body, anybody's body, and have certainly seen my share of people in the altogether, that the eyes simply have it when it comes to saying, without words, who somebody is.
Now, all of this said, I have a confession to make. I am, as far as I know, a predominantly heterosexual man. I am 47 and have seen more than my share of representations, paintings, pictures, and personal presentations of the naked female form and plan to continue in pursuing this activity when it presents itself.
Which is why I am happy that it's summer in the Valley of the Sun, where it's going to be about 110 degrees today.
My confession is this: Even though I am an eye guy, if you're female, and you're going to wear thin white shirts that let me see what your breasts look like, I'm going to look. And appreciate it. Thanks in advance, in fact.
I was reminded of this actually about three weeks ago. I stopped somewhere to pick up dinner after recording my online radio show (Zappa Universe! Sundays, 6 p.m. MST at www.radiofreephoenix.com!) and while I was waiting for the order to be filled there was this group of young people eating dinner in the restaurant. One of them was a woman, about 20, wearing jeans and one of those ribbed white, thin-cotton sleeveless men's T-shirts that are essentially transparent. Which she was. And she clearly didn't care that I or anybody else got a look at what Frank Zappa once so poetically called her "mammalian protruberances," so I fully appreciated every time she got up, walked by, or whatever. I'm sure the waiter did, too.
So welcome summer! Welcome you white-shirted promoters of the female form! Excuse me my lecherous leers and keep 'em comin'. If you have great eyes, the better.
One more thing: back in my dating days, I went out a couple of times with a girl who had an ENORMOUS chest. She said the reason she liked going out with me was because I was the only guy she'd ever dated who didn't appear to be interested in her boobs. It wasn't until that moment that I even noticed that she HAD a big chest.
I was too busy staring at her eyes.
TT
Comments:
Big brown eyes are absolutely wonderful to look at. Eyes are the first thing on my list of what makes a woman beautiful. Carrie has wonderful eyes.
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# posted by 
: 12:13 PM
: 12:13 PM