Friday, July 15, 2005
TOP TEN BIGGEST SURPRISES IN THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK:
Why stand in line? Here's all you need to know:
10: In his haste to get back to Hogwarts, Harry gets on the wrong train;
nearly spends the entire year on the "Polar Express"
9. Ron and Hermione have some explaining to do when both come down
with a case of "Volde-warts"
8. Uncle Vernon? Gay...
7. Malfoy traded to Red Sox for Curt Schilling, some cash and a minor leaguer to be named later
6. By unanimous vote of the faculty, Hermione named new "Professor of Oral Arts"
5. Harry's mentor makes a killing in the infomercial market with his magic "Dumble-Door"
4. Snape grins; face falls off
3. Weasley twins borrow Marauder's Map to check when McGonigal's in the shower
2. Harry arrested for burning down Flourish and Blott's Bookstore
when Rowling won't let him have an advance copy of his OWN DAMN BOOK
and the number one Biggest Surprise:
1, Bertie Bott's All-Flavor Quaaludes
See you in line...
TT
Why stand in line? Here's all you need to know:
10: In his haste to get back to Hogwarts, Harry gets on the wrong train;
nearly spends the entire year on the "Polar Express"
9. Ron and Hermione have some explaining to do when both come down
with a case of "Volde-warts"
8. Uncle Vernon? Gay...
7. Malfoy traded to Red Sox for Curt Schilling, some cash and a minor leaguer to be named later
6. By unanimous vote of the faculty, Hermione named new "Professor of Oral Arts"
5. Harry's mentor makes a killing in the infomercial market with his magic "Dumble-Door"
4. Snape grins; face falls off
3. Weasley twins borrow Marauder's Map to check when McGonigal's in the shower
2. Harry arrested for burning down Flourish and Blott's Bookstore
when Rowling won't let him have an advance copy of his OWN DAMN BOOK
and the number one Biggest Surprise:
1, Bertie Bott's All-Flavor Quaaludes
See you in line...
TT
Comments:
Oh. Laughing very hard now. Must be the codeine. Will be at Mariners game on Saturday while wife and son read tandem copies. Will steal books while they sleep and read very fast. Think McGonigal is hot and would like to see her naked before she decides I would be better off as toad. Must stop comment now and find pronouns.
# posted by 
: 10:49 AM
: 10:49 AM
Very funny! Did you write those and can I cross-post them in my journal with credit?
Debora K.
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Debora K.
# posted by : 7:14 AM
: 7:14 AM
