Wednesday, August 03, 2005
For those of you reading this outside the Phoenix area, I need to say that MONSOON season -- misnamed as it is -- is here.
Finally.
We got 2+ inches of rain in our neighborhood last night, which both entertained and scared the bejesus out of various members of our household.
We also discovered things in the rain that were only that much more of an annoyance because it was raining like a sumbitch.
To wit:
1. The Krispy Kreme Donut store near our house has closed. Why was this annoying you ask, when it was raining, and if you know me, you know that I'm really not that much of a fan of Krispy Kreme Donuts in the first place so why was I trying to buy them?
Sit down and stop throwing things at me and I'll explain.
Yesterday was Jan's birthday. (Happy Birthday to Jan!) Anyway, it being Tuesday, she had a class, I had to take the boys birthday shopping and we all ended up back at the still-dry house in a still-dry neighborhood at about nine something.
Presents were presented and then Brendan said, "hey, there's no cake!" Which was true. You don't buy women cakes unless they say they want one, 'cause hey, it's cake. And they're women. And since we don't pay attention to anything they say, the chance of us screwing up by BUYING a cake before they ask for one as a friendly gesture is a sure invitation to have silver candlesticks thrown at your head for being so inconsiderate when you KNOW she's on a diet ( actually, ladies, we don't, regardless of how many times you've said so), so you can just shovethatcakeupyourasshereletmehelp...
But anyway, Jan says, "Yeah, It's my birthday! I need cake! Or some kind of cakey substance! Why don't you guys go get some Kripy Kr..."
Adam and Brendan bolted out the door before Jan could finish with "...eme."
I follow them out to the car. The wind is suddenly blowing now. Hard. No rain but it's cool out. I get in the car. We head for the KK. I get a block from the house and the rain starts. BOOOOOM goes thunder, FLASH goes the sky, PATTAPATTAPATTAPATTA etc. goes the rain.
I pull up to the Krispy Kreme and the lights are not only out but the SIGN is gone. Not a good sign to have no sign. So I have to drive to a Circle K about 2 miles away to get Krispy Kreme donuts. Which I do.
We pull out the oars and row the van home.
MEANWHILE:
Have I told you we have a dog?
A smart, funny, entertaining. loyal, noble-looking, loud-barking, Welsh Corgi of a dog named Dweezil.
The Welsh Corgi: A noble breed; bred to herd cattle; to run under their charges and nip at their heels and get them to go where their master wants them to go. Dogs bred to withstand the harsh, wet and rainy climes of Wales. A breed that has, over time, evolved to produce at least one product of the species who, equipped with all this noble breeding, instinct, talent and fast thinking, turns magically into an unbelievable chickenshit when so much as a raindrop falls in the front yard.
EXHIBIT A: Our dog, Dweezil.
The Dweez was NOT enjoying this much-needed present from the water gods. As a matter of fact, as the thunder got louder, and the lightning got brighter, and the rains got stronger, our Noble Welsh protector of the herd did what he figured any dog of his fine standing and upbringing would do.
Did he stand proudly at the front door to protect us from the impending thumping outside?
NO!
Did he run from room to room to try and figure out what the big noise was in an effort to save us all from the big scary monsther that was making all the noise?
NO!
Trembling like a scared mouse and panting about a thousand beats per minute, he ran under our bed and played dead.
I guess he figured "well, if this is it, I'm going to be comfortable."
Dweezil plays the best dead of any dog I've ever seen. I even tried to get him to get up and get over it and he just LAID THERE.
You can't imagine how happy I am to know that if Dweezil is ever home alone during a rainstorm and someone breaks in to rob the place, he'll be more than happy to rip the guy to shreds provided he gets under the bed with him and plays dead.
Here, Dweezil. Have a donut.
TT
Finally.
We got 2+ inches of rain in our neighborhood last night, which both entertained and scared the bejesus out of various members of our household.
We also discovered things in the rain that were only that much more of an annoyance because it was raining like a sumbitch.
To wit:
1. The Krispy Kreme Donut store near our house has closed. Why was this annoying you ask, when it was raining, and if you know me, you know that I'm really not that much of a fan of Krispy Kreme Donuts in the first place so why was I trying to buy them?
Sit down and stop throwing things at me and I'll explain.
Yesterday was Jan's birthday. (Happy Birthday to Jan!) Anyway, it being Tuesday, she had a class, I had to take the boys birthday shopping and we all ended up back at the still-dry house in a still-dry neighborhood at about nine something.
Presents were presented and then Brendan said, "hey, there's no cake!" Which was true. You don't buy women cakes unless they say they want one, 'cause hey, it's cake. And they're women. And since we don't pay attention to anything they say, the chance of us screwing up by BUYING a cake before they ask for one as a friendly gesture is a sure invitation to have silver candlesticks thrown at your head for being so inconsiderate when you KNOW she's on a diet ( actually, ladies, we don't, regardless of how many times you've said so), so you can just shovethatcakeupyourasshereletmehelp...
But anyway, Jan says, "Yeah, It's my birthday! I need cake! Or some kind of cakey substance! Why don't you guys go get some Kripy Kr..."
Adam and Brendan bolted out the door before Jan could finish with "...eme."
I follow them out to the car. The wind is suddenly blowing now. Hard. No rain but it's cool out. I get in the car. We head for the KK. I get a block from the house and the rain starts. BOOOOOM goes thunder, FLASH goes the sky, PATTAPATTAPATTAPATTA etc. goes the rain.
I pull up to the Krispy Kreme and the lights are not only out but the SIGN is gone. Not a good sign to have no sign. So I have to drive to a Circle K about 2 miles away to get Krispy Kreme donuts. Which I do.
We pull out the oars and row the van home.
MEANWHILE:
Have I told you we have a dog?
A smart, funny, entertaining. loyal, noble-looking, loud-barking, Welsh Corgi of a dog named Dweezil.
The Welsh Corgi: A noble breed; bred to herd cattle; to run under their charges and nip at their heels and get them to go where their master wants them to go. Dogs bred to withstand the harsh, wet and rainy climes of Wales. A breed that has, over time, evolved to produce at least one product of the species who, equipped with all this noble breeding, instinct, talent and fast thinking, turns magically into an unbelievable chickenshit when so much as a raindrop falls in the front yard.
EXHIBIT A: Our dog, Dweezil.
The Dweez was NOT enjoying this much-needed present from the water gods. As a matter of fact, as the thunder got louder, and the lightning got brighter, and the rains got stronger, our Noble Welsh protector of the herd did what he figured any dog of his fine standing and upbringing would do.
Did he stand proudly at the front door to protect us from the impending thumping outside?
NO!
Did he run from room to room to try and figure out what the big noise was in an effort to save us all from the big scary monsther that was making all the noise?
NO!
Trembling like a scared mouse and panting about a thousand beats per minute, he ran under our bed and played dead.
I guess he figured "well, if this is it, I'm going to be comfortable."
Dweezil plays the best dead of any dog I've ever seen. I even tried to get him to get up and get over it and he just LAID THERE.
You can't imagine how happy I am to know that if Dweezil is ever home alone during a rainstorm and someone breaks in to rob the place, he'll be more than happy to rip the guy to shreds provided he gets under the bed with him and plays dead.
Here, Dweezil. Have a donut.
TT
Comments:
The only Krispy Kreme where I ever spent money (the one near Tom's house) has closed.
(plans experiment, checks wallet)
I'll be right back. Bwa ha ha.
(plans experiment, checks wallet)
I'll be right back. Bwa ha ha.
Oh, and putting on my Weather Geek hat for a minute:
Technically, tha Arizona monsoon is a real monsoon: a seasonal shift of weather patterns that brings moisture inland from a nearby ocean, in this case the Gulf of California.
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Technically, tha Arizona monsoon is a real monsoon: a seasonal shift of weather patterns that brings moisture inland from a nearby ocean, in this case the Gulf of California.
