Tuesday, November 28, 2006
COME ONE, COME ALL...
I got a press release the other day...
...get ready...
here it comes...
...literally....
"THE 1ST ANNUAL
SYNCHRONIZED GLOBAL ORGASM FOR PEACE
Please send this out to your entire mailing list!
WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.
WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass
destruction.
WHEN? Winter Solstice Day - Friday, December 22nd, at the time of your choosing, in
the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.
WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of
the largest possible surge of human energy. There are two more US fleets heading
for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against
Iran, so the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!
Our minds influence Matter and Energy fields, so by concentrating any thoughts
during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high
orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention will reduce global levels of
violence, hatred and fear.
This is something just about everyone can do and enjoy. And you can do it by
yourself or with someone else. You don't even have to tell anyone you're going to
do it!
THE SCIENCE
The Global Consciousness Project (http://noosphere.princeton.edu), Princeton
University, runs a network of Random Event Generators around the world, which
record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human
consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during
widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also
been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers.
It's free! It's private! It’s easy! It's fun! It just might be the most important thing you
could do for yourself, your family, the planet and our species.
http://www.GlobalOrgasm.org
Baring Witness, a 501(c)3 non-profit organization for peace and partnership
( http://www.BaringWitness.org) "
..... and to think I have to belong to a non-profit group that promotes acoustic music, when all this time I coulda been supporting jerking off? GOD am I stupid.
------
I do like the whole Winter Solstice, pagan-energy-raising-type idea behind this, but how can these people not know that MAY is National Masturbation Month? (You can look it up. And while you're at it, check out masturbateforpeace.org, one of the most bizarre and hilarious websites out there.)
You know, that said, having your friends over to masturbate for Christmas sure sounds like a party to me. Why do it alone if you all want to promote peace on earth, good will toward men and women by pulling one out? (What's the female equivalent of that euphemism? Rubbing yourself out? No, that wouldn't be it.)
'Course, if you did have a party you'd have to all agree on what to watch to get in the mood. The guys I know would probably insist on lesbian porno and the girls I know would want to watch Alan Rickman movies. And since there is no Alan Rickman lesbian porn (so far as I know), everybody would be at a stalemate.
I guess you'd need live entertainment. Or perhaps just being in a room with a bunch of other people watching them getting down to business would probably work.
Unless you just happen to be friends with a couple of lesbians and Alan Rickman. It could happen.
But hey, if you're planning a dainty soiree on 12/22 with tea, Christmas Cookies, watercress sandwiches and culminating in a massive jack-and-jill-off, count me in. I have the day off. And it's sort of what I do at work anyway.
TT (At work)
P.S.: How can this event be "synchronized" if they're not asking everybody to try and come at the SAME TIME? Or at least in the same hour? These people seem to be missing the whole "mass energy" idea. If you just do it at any old time on the 22nd, there's the possibility that somewhere, somehow, NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD is masturbating when you are. If you could figure that out for sure, you should win some kind of prize.
I got a press release the other day...
...get ready...
here it comes...
...literally....
"THE 1ST ANNUAL
SYNCHRONIZED GLOBAL ORGASM FOR PEACE
Please send this out to your entire mailing list!
WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.
WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass
destruction.
WHEN? Winter Solstice Day - Friday, December 22nd, at the time of your choosing, in
the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.
WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of
the largest possible surge of human energy. There are two more US fleets heading
for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against
Iran, so the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!
Our minds influence Matter and Energy fields, so by concentrating any thoughts
during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high
orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention will reduce global levels of
violence, hatred and fear.
This is something just about everyone can do and enjoy. And you can do it by
yourself or with someone else. You don't even have to tell anyone you're going to
do it!
THE SCIENCE
The Global Consciousness Project (http://noosphere.princeton.edu), Princeton
University, runs a network of Random Event Generators around the world, which
record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human
consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during
widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also
been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers.
It's free! It's private! It’s easy! It's fun! It just might be the most important thing you
could do for yourself, your family, the planet and our species.
http://www.GlobalOrgasm.org
Baring Witness, a 501(c)3 non-profit organization for peace and partnership
( http://www.BaringWitness.org) "
..... and to think I have to belong to a non-profit group that promotes acoustic music, when all this time I coulda been supporting jerking off? GOD am I stupid.
------
I do like the whole Winter Solstice, pagan-energy-raising-type idea behind this, but how can these people not know that MAY is National Masturbation Month? (You can look it up. And while you're at it, check out masturbateforpeace.org, one of the most bizarre and hilarious websites out there.)
You know, that said, having your friends over to masturbate for Christmas sure sounds like a party to me. Why do it alone if you all want to promote peace on earth, good will toward men and women by pulling one out? (What's the female equivalent of that euphemism? Rubbing yourself out? No, that wouldn't be it.)
'Course, if you did have a party you'd have to all agree on what to watch to get in the mood. The guys I know would probably insist on lesbian porno and the girls I know would want to watch Alan Rickman movies. And since there is no Alan Rickman lesbian porn (so far as I know), everybody would be at a stalemate.
I guess you'd need live entertainment. Or perhaps just being in a room with a bunch of other people watching them getting down to business would probably work.
Unless you just happen to be friends with a couple of lesbians and Alan Rickman. It could happen.
But hey, if you're planning a dainty soiree on 12/22 with tea, Christmas Cookies, watercress sandwiches and culminating in a massive jack-and-jill-off, count me in. I have the day off. And it's sort of what I do at work anyway.
TT (At work)
P.S.: How can this event be "synchronized" if they're not asking everybody to try and come at the SAME TIME? Or at least in the same hour? These people seem to be missing the whole "mass energy" idea. If you just do it at any old time on the 22nd, there's the possibility that somewhere, somehow, NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD is masturbating when you are. If you could figure that out for sure, you should win some kind of prize.
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