Monday, February 05, 2007
KOOCHY, KOOCHY COOT
I am a coot.
Or at least, I am becoming one.
This is something I have determined after receiving several complaints from my wife, my kids and close friends that, as I age, I am getting unreasonably cranky over stupid shit.
Now, in true Coot fashion, I have no idea what they're talking about. I don't notice any difference in how I react to things that bug me but my friends are implying that if I don't do something about it I'll be sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch yelling at kids to get outa my yard in a matter of weeks.
What I do know:
1. Yes, I hate technology. But you you all know that. I was the last person I know to learn how to use a computer. I still can't use a PC (Windows is a sick, bad joke), but I seem to have settled into Macs really well. This goes with the adage that creative types use macs, and suit types use PCs, which says a lot. The very fact that Microsoft is now COPYING the Mac layout is proof that Macs are, and always have been, better.
Does that make me a coot for saying that? Or is it that whenever somebody talks about how I should "get normal" and buy a virus-filled, useless box that you have to push "Start" to turn off, I go ballistic? Doesn't everybody?
2. I have never been one to discuss politics much with people, because if you don't agree with me, then you're WRONG.
Does that make me a coot? I will never be able to persuade you that you're wrong, nor you me. But I AM right. That's why I keep my opinions to myself.
3. There are things that I think actally exclude me from being considered for Cootdom. First of all, I'm painfully liberal, I'm a nudist (I realize that I just described most of Vermont, which is FULL of Coots), a folk singer...okay, I do HATE most modern music. The phrase "Don't you have anything less than 30 years old in this car?" springs up a lot. Problem is, my WIFE asks me this.
Okay, maybe I am a coot. Do I need to buy a Coot suit? Is a zoot suit a Coot Suit? Do I need to move to Cooterville? Are there famous Coots to model myself after? Oh, yeah, there is one, I guess:
This Coot's about 74 now. He really IS an old Coot.
------
Old Coots do not go to the Alwun House Exotic show openings every year, and I do. This Friday. You should too. So there.
TT
(If your loved one needs
Alzheimer's care to be comfortable or for any
home health care needs check us
out. Here's some ideas from the
government
for more support.)
I am a coot.
Or at least, I am becoming one.
This is something I have determined after receiving several complaints from my wife, my kids and close friends that, as I age, I am getting unreasonably cranky over stupid shit.
Now, in true Coot fashion, I have no idea what they're talking about. I don't notice any difference in how I react to things that bug me but my friends are implying that if I don't do something about it I'll be sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch yelling at kids to get outa my yard in a matter of weeks.
What I do know:
1. Yes, I hate technology. But you you all know that. I was the last person I know to learn how to use a computer. I still can't use a PC (Windows is a sick, bad joke), but I seem to have settled into Macs really well. This goes with the adage that creative types use macs, and suit types use PCs, which says a lot. The very fact that Microsoft is now COPYING the Mac layout is proof that Macs are, and always have been, better.
Does that make me a coot for saying that? Or is it that whenever somebody talks about how I should "get normal" and buy a virus-filled, useless box that you have to push "Start" to turn off, I go ballistic? Doesn't everybody?
2. I have never been one to discuss politics much with people, because if you don't agree with me, then you're WRONG.
Does that make me a coot? I will never be able to persuade you that you're wrong, nor you me. But I AM right. That's why I keep my opinions to myself.
3. There are things that I think actally exclude me from being considered for Cootdom. First of all, I'm painfully liberal, I'm a nudist (I realize that I just described most of Vermont, which is FULL of Coots), a folk singer...okay, I do HATE most modern music. The phrase "Don't you have anything less than 30 years old in this car?" springs up a lot. Problem is, my WIFE asks me this.
Okay, maybe I am a coot. Do I need to buy a Coot suit? Is a zoot suit a Coot Suit? Do I need to move to Cooterville? Are there famous Coots to model myself after? Oh, yeah, there is one, I guess:
This Coot's about 74 now. He really IS an old Coot.
------
Old Coots do not go to the Alwun House Exotic show openings every year, and I do. This Friday. You should too. So there.
TT
(If your loved one needs
Alzheimer's care to be comfortable or for any
home health care needs check us
out. Here's some ideas from the
government
for more support.)
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