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Thursday, March 13, 2008

I JOKE, THEREFORE...

My friend Pete called me yesterday with this joke:

Rene Descartes is sitting in a bar. The bartender comes over. "Another beer, Rene?"

Descarted replies, "I think not."

And he disappeared.


That joke got me wondering, and thanks to the internet I can tell you that there are actually several places where you can find Rene Descartes jokes. But I'll print some here:

For example:

Rene was busy putting the last touches to a lavish table spread with all
sorts of goodies at the annual Descartes' New Year's Party.

The guests arrived and Rene was mingling with them and astounding them
with his alacrity of thought, when Mrs. Descartes called to him to take out
the special New Year's meat pies. He placed them on a sideboard away from
the main table -- intended for the traditional post midnight revel repast.

Still mingling, he espied a hungry guest heading over to the meat pies.
Like a flash he was upon him.

"Not now Monsieur, he cried, "I think they're for 1 a.m.!"

Or how about:

What is the error of saying,
"I am, therefore I think"?

You end up placing de Horace before Descartes!

I'm on a roll, I tell ya...:

Did you know that Rene Descartes met the Hunchback of Notre Dame?

They were both visiting Paris, and met on a ferry crossing the famous
river. Somehow Quasimodo fell overboard. He disappeared under the water
because of the weight of handbells he was carrying on his belt.

As Descartes began a rescue, he shouted, "Quasimodo, I see where you
are," and he jumped in to save his friend.

However, he found Quasimodo was already headed toward shore. He seemed to be
running across the bottom, but then Descartes saw he was dancing!
Descartes signed to him: "What are you doing that for?" Quasimodo signed
back, "Save yourself! I'm happy. I'm just Ringing In The Seine!!"

So Rene reached the shore by bobbing up and down.

An onlooker asked, "How did you do that?"

"I'm a Cartesian diver," replied Descartes. "I realize, 'I sink.'
Therefore I swam."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

Thank you folks, I'm here all week!

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Bird Update: Claudette is still sitting on her eggs. We looked up conures and found that it takes about three weeks for their eggs to hatch. So if she's still paying attention to them a week from this Sunday we're going to go buy some hand-feeding gear and baby bird food. Just in case.

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One of my best pals ever, Matt Turney, is in the hospital on life support. Long story short, if you think you might have diabetes, go find out, okay? If you know Matt, send good thoughts in the direction of Lincoln Deer Valley Hospital.

TT

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