Sunday, September 07, 2008
CAN IT PLEASE JUST BE ELECTION DAY?
They've only been official candidates for a few days and already I'm sick of both of them.
McCain's acceptance speech the other night was BOOOOORING. Predictable. Ran out of gas. Now all of a sudden, HE's the change candidate?
If I ever run for president, I'm going to pick a platform that nobody else will try to emulate. I'll get a purple tattoo on my nose and become the ONLY Candidate to advocate purple tattoos on your nose. And education.
Some years ago, before he got sick, Frank Zappa toyed with running for president and the Libertarians took him up on it. However, after looking over their platform, they appeared to be too extreme even for FRANK ZAPPA, who at heart could be best described (as one person termed it) a "sensible conservative." An outspoken critic of the Republican party (he actually had to give up a powerful position with the Czech Government because the Reagan White House threatened not to do business with the newly-formed Czech Republic if they worked with Zappa), Frank would have made an interesting candidate. Some years ago on the FZ usenet group, someone posed the question, what would life be like with President Zappa?
I felt the need to chime in. (I realize that what follows is only funny to those of you who know every tiny smidgen of info there is to know about FZ, his family, the scores of musicians who played in the Mothers and FZ's political leanings, but take it from me -- this is VERY FUNNY. Zoogz Rift even said so...)
"Well, for one thing, the word "fuck" would be used in sitcoms and other TV
shows quite liberally, since Frank would have probably said "fuck" on TV so
many times that it would be like saying "Hi!"
He probably wouldn't have changed the gun laws; nobody ever does.
He would have offered Daniel Schorr a cabinet post, or at least press
secretary.
I think he would have discovered a lot that he didn't know about the economy.
We would be doing more business with Eastern Europe.
Vice president Gore (Tipper) would give speeches at charity events with
comments that poked fun at when she and Frank were at odds.
His tours would be shorter.
He would be very trustworthy of certain people in his staff, yet fire people at
will. Interviewing for a job in the White House would be painstaking and hard.
Chief of Staff Kaylan would have his hands full.
Ditto for his appointees to the court: Justice Volman, Justice Colaiuta and
Justice Des Barres.
First Lady Gail Zappa would accidentally popularize the muu-muu as a formal
dress.
Zappa's incessant smoking would make him very popular with the tobacco states.
Smokers would increase "because the President does it!"
White House Balls would be the stuff of legend.
Musical unions wouldn't make any great progress during his term.
He would ultimately get caught pooching Attorney General Ruth Underwood."
------
The Schedule for the Prescott Folk Festival (first weekend in October) has been released. I will be playing in the big building at the Sharlott Hall Museum Complex at noon Saturday. BE THERE. Apparently, someone other than the someone else who originally was in charge of putting together the festival this year is now in charge. Many of us were a bit taken aback that the original new person, wanted to make all day Saturday an "Arizona-theme" day, where anyone who wanted to play Saturday had to have Arizona-based songs in their act. No one I talked to liked this idea. And apparently neither did the organizers, who apparently changed the person running it. Near as I can tell.
------
Down here in the Valley, it's starting to be nice in the early morning, even though it's still godawful hot in the daytime. But we're getting there.
TT
They've only been official candidates for a few days and already I'm sick of both of them.
McCain's acceptance speech the other night was BOOOOORING. Predictable. Ran out of gas. Now all of a sudden, HE's the change candidate?
If I ever run for president, I'm going to pick a platform that nobody else will try to emulate. I'll get a purple tattoo on my nose and become the ONLY Candidate to advocate purple tattoos on your nose. And education.
Some years ago, before he got sick, Frank Zappa toyed with running for president and the Libertarians took him up on it. However, after looking over their platform, they appeared to be too extreme even for FRANK ZAPPA, who at heart could be best described (as one person termed it) a "sensible conservative." An outspoken critic of the Republican party (he actually had to give up a powerful position with the Czech Government because the Reagan White House threatened not to do business with the newly-formed Czech Republic if they worked with Zappa), Frank would have made an interesting candidate. Some years ago on the FZ usenet group, someone posed the question, what would life be like with President Zappa?
I felt the need to chime in. (I realize that what follows is only funny to those of you who know every tiny smidgen of info there is to know about FZ, his family, the scores of musicians who played in the Mothers and FZ's political leanings, but take it from me -- this is VERY FUNNY. Zoogz Rift even said so...)
"Well, for one thing, the word "fuck" would be used in sitcoms and other TV
shows quite liberally, since Frank would have probably said "fuck" on TV so
many times that it would be like saying "Hi!"
He probably wouldn't have changed the gun laws; nobody ever does.
He would have offered Daniel Schorr a cabinet post, or at least press
secretary.
I think he would have discovered a lot that he didn't know about the economy.
We would be doing more business with Eastern Europe.
Vice president Gore (Tipper) would give speeches at charity events with
comments that poked fun at when she and Frank were at odds.
His tours would be shorter.
He would be very trustworthy of certain people in his staff, yet fire people at
will. Interviewing for a job in the White House would be painstaking and hard.
Chief of Staff Kaylan would have his hands full.
Ditto for his appointees to the court: Justice Volman, Justice Colaiuta and
Justice Des Barres.
First Lady Gail Zappa would accidentally popularize the muu-muu as a formal
dress.
Zappa's incessant smoking would make him very popular with the tobacco states.
Smokers would increase "because the President does it!"
White House Balls would be the stuff of legend.
Musical unions wouldn't make any great progress during his term.
He would ultimately get caught pooching Attorney General Ruth Underwood."
------
The Schedule for the Prescott Folk Festival (first weekend in October) has been released. I will be playing in the big building at the Sharlott Hall Museum Complex at noon Saturday. BE THERE. Apparently, someone other than the someone else who originally was in charge of putting together the festival this year is now in charge. Many of us were a bit taken aback that the original new person, wanted to make all day Saturday an "Arizona-theme" day, where anyone who wanted to play Saturday had to have Arizona-based songs in their act. No one I talked to liked this idea. And apparently neither did the organizers, who apparently changed the person running it. Near as I can tell.
------
Down here in the Valley, it's starting to be nice in the early morning, even though it's still godawful hot in the daytime. But we're getting there.
TT
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