Friday, November 21, 2008
SUICIDE IS PAINLESS...AND SOMETIMES UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS
Sometimes, programmers don't pay attention to what they're doing.
Right now, at AOL.com, in their little list of news teasers, is a headline:
"College Student Commits Suicide Live on Webcam"
Unfortunately, at the moment, this is not linked to the correct article. When you click the link, the headline you see -- and I am NOT making this up -- is:
"Remains Identified as Copernicus"
------
Since Janice reads books at the speed of light, some months ago she polished off the entire "Twilight Series" of vampire books in about 20 minutes in a Borders near our house. (She didn't finish the last one; she dismissed it as "even shittier than the first three.")
Nevertheless she was interested in seeing the movie that came out today, so we caught a matinee of "Twilight" with a bunch of women older than we were.
Knowing nothing about the book, I can say it's the most expensive made-for-TV movie I've ever seen. Except it wasn't on TV. It was in a movie theater.
By the way, if you live in -- or you have ever been to -- the Pacific Northwest and you see this movie, you're going to notice the biggest scenery assumption of all time. Please don't ask me to set this up, but take my word for it. There's a baseball game scene in this movie that's supposed to take place in Washington state. It is played directly in front of Multnomah Falls in the Columbia River Gorge.
Which of course, is in Oregon. The director, I guess, assumed that most people wouldn't notice.
Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. Boy is vampire. Girl isn't. Girl also isn't interesting. Neither is boy.
Movie would be better if SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED. This is the first vampire movie I've ever seen where I wasn't scared even once.
All vampire movies fall apart at some point, and they're usually pretty bad. But if I had to be locked in a room in hell for eternity and I had to watch one vampire movie over and over, it would be "The Hunger," for two reasons:
1.: Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon have sex with each other, and appear to be enjoying it. I know I did.
2.: David Bowie plays a blood-starved vampire who kills a victim ( a violin student who's come over for lessons) in one of the coldest, most desperate and disturbing scenes I think I've ever seen.
If the whole movie was as good as those two scenes, we'd all have seen it by now.
If you do Netflix it, just be warned -- it falls apart. I used to know a guy who was a vampire movie expert. After I watched "The Hunger," I called to complain about what a train wreck it was and he said, "If you'd have called me BEFORE you watched it I could have saved you two valuable hours. But isn't that sex scene great?"
------
My garden is finally emitting vegetables.
A couple days ago one of the nifty softball-sized white and purple eggplants I was growing was ready to be picked. So I did. Then last night I chopped it up, put it in a pan with some onions and olive oil and, as Andy Griffith is fond of saying about Ritz crackers, Mmmmmmmm...MM! Good Eggplant.
I have Japanese cabbage about a week away from harvesting and collards for the lizard about two weeks away. And radishes. ALWAYS radishes. You can THINK about radish seeds and somewhere a radish will pop up. They're easy.
------
Tonight (Saturday , since it's late Friday and none of you will read this until it is, indeed Saturday) I am playing as part of a comedy show called "The Dirty Show" at Club Mardi Gras, 8040 E. McDowell. Please come out and support me and it. I get paid for this one and the more people who show up, the more I get! And right now I need it!
TT
Sometimes, programmers don't pay attention to what they're doing.
Right now, at AOL.com, in their little list of news teasers, is a headline:
"College Student Commits Suicide Live on Webcam"
Unfortunately, at the moment, this is not linked to the correct article. When you click the link, the headline you see -- and I am NOT making this up -- is:
"Remains Identified as Copernicus"
------
Since Janice reads books at the speed of light, some months ago she polished off the entire "Twilight Series" of vampire books in about 20 minutes in a Borders near our house. (She didn't finish the last one; she dismissed it as "even shittier than the first three.")
Nevertheless she was interested in seeing the movie that came out today, so we caught a matinee of "Twilight" with a bunch of women older than we were.
Knowing nothing about the book, I can say it's the most expensive made-for-TV movie I've ever seen. Except it wasn't on TV. It was in a movie theater.
By the way, if you live in -- or you have ever been to -- the Pacific Northwest and you see this movie, you're going to notice the biggest scenery assumption of all time. Please don't ask me to set this up, but take my word for it. There's a baseball game scene in this movie that's supposed to take place in Washington state. It is played directly in front of Multnomah Falls in the Columbia River Gorge.
Which of course, is in Oregon. The director, I guess, assumed that most people wouldn't notice.
Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. Boy is vampire. Girl isn't. Girl also isn't interesting. Neither is boy.
Movie would be better if SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED. This is the first vampire movie I've ever seen where I wasn't scared even once.
All vampire movies fall apart at some point, and they're usually pretty bad. But if I had to be locked in a room in hell for eternity and I had to watch one vampire movie over and over, it would be "The Hunger," for two reasons:
1.: Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon have sex with each other, and appear to be enjoying it. I know I did.
2.: David Bowie plays a blood-starved vampire who kills a victim ( a violin student who's come over for lessons) in one of the coldest, most desperate and disturbing scenes I think I've ever seen.
If the whole movie was as good as those two scenes, we'd all have seen it by now.
If you do Netflix it, just be warned -- it falls apart. I used to know a guy who was a vampire movie expert. After I watched "The Hunger," I called to complain about what a train wreck it was and he said, "If you'd have called me BEFORE you watched it I could have saved you two valuable hours. But isn't that sex scene great?"
------
My garden is finally emitting vegetables.
A couple days ago one of the nifty softball-sized white and purple eggplants I was growing was ready to be picked. So I did. Then last night I chopped it up, put it in a pan with some onions and olive oil and, as Andy Griffith is fond of saying about Ritz crackers, Mmmmmmmm...MM! Good Eggplant.
I have Japanese cabbage about a week away from harvesting and collards for the lizard about two weeks away. And radishes. ALWAYS radishes. You can THINK about radish seeds and somewhere a radish will pop up. They're easy.
------
Tonight (Saturday , since it's late Friday and none of you will read this until it is, indeed Saturday) I am playing as part of a comedy show called "The Dirty Show" at Club Mardi Gras, 8040 E. McDowell. Please come out and support me and it. I get paid for this one and the more people who show up, the more I get! And right now I need it!
TT
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