Wednesday, April 27, 2005

11/23/26 - 4/22/05

Goodbye, Dad. Thanks for everything.

(If you're having trouble taking care of your

aging parent
you may need

Alzheimer's care
or some kind of
home health care

Nothing brings relatives together like a funeral. I saw more people I haven't seen in ages yesterday than I've seen in a good 13 years, when we had a family reunion in Indiana. I think I much prefer the reunion route.


George Lucas is planning a Star Wars TV Series? Why am I underwhelmed?


Monday, April 18, 2005

I managed to record a decent (but not finished) version of one of my songs yesterday. My son Adam played drums on it and once I get re-record the vocals and add a bass player, it'll be done! (It's my song Everybody Wanna Sound Like Nirvana.)


If you live in the Queen Creek area, there's a SCREAMINGLY low-power station at 99.1 FM playing radiofreephoenix.com as its programming, inluding my show, "Zappa Universe" on Sundays at 6. Check it out--if you can!


My dad is not doing well; as a lot of you know, he's got Alzheimer's disease, he's had at least one stroke and the last couple of days he appears be forgetting how to swallow, which apparently happens to all Alzheimer's patients eventually. This is never a good thing. It could be just an anomaly but we're all waiting to see.

This is really taking a toll on my mom. She's an absolute brick but I can see she just wants everything to play itself out, one way or another. I think that's what we all want.


I will be playing a 20-minute set at an Earth Day show at Fiddler's Dream this Sunday from 2-5. I'm on at 2:20 after Scott Hallock, who coincidentally is producing my CD. Also on the docket are Cindi ("Cottonwood Stone") Martin, who puts these things together, Bob Villa (who writes songs so good I am almost, but not quite, embarassed to be on the same docket with him), Al Catarino (who plays guitar so good I am...oh, you get the idea), Rob Foley (ditto), Isidro Morin, Mark Lee, Trisha Zahn and Jacqui Foreman. They're all good, too. Admission is five bucks and the proceeds go to something. I forget. Aren't I the informative one?


Friday, April 15, 2005

Ed Foster, the art director where I work, sent me this. I feel it's worth sharing.

Laws of Cartoon Thermodynamics
by Trevor Paquette and Lt. Justin D. Baldwin

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.

Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

Cartoon Law IV
The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it is inevitably unsuccessful.

Cartoon Law V
All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A `wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.

This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

Cartoon Law IX
Everything falls faster than an anvil.

Cartoon Law X
Guns, no matter how powerful, or no matter where aimed, will do nothing more than char flesh, blow away feathers, or rearrange beaks.

Cartoon Law XI
Any given amount of explosives will propel a body miles away, but still in one piece, charred and extremely peeved.


Thursday, April 14, 2005

Think about it: The people who win "American Idol" are the Monkees of the 21st century.

It's true! Once they win, their careers are totally controlled by the company that produces the show. They're told what to sing, where to go, and what to do. The chance that you will EVER hear any of them sing a song they actually wrote is going to be somewhere between slim and none.

It will be inevitable that one of them will pull a "Mike Nesmith" and start complaining about how they're being made to be something they're not. They'll demand more input on their own albums. They'll become pains in the ass for the producers, and eventually they'll be let go and i bet you never hear from them again.

I HATE the whole "American Idol" concept. Why are there even "judges?" America decides the winners, and Americans have no musical taste (except of course for the 500 or so Americans who bought my CD). Don't watch it. Dumb show. Dumb, dumb, dumb.


I think somebody should put out a series of DVDs called "Bad Rock and Roll Actors in the Movies." Get those flicks out there that I've always wanted to see, like "Son of Dracula," with Harry Nilsson as the vampire; "Blindman" with Ringo Starr as a Mexican desperado; "Medicine Ball Caravan," which is another one of those great late-60s concert movies I love so much, but was apparently kinda hard to watch; stuff like that.


My wife and her dancing pals will be shaking bootay in a bellydance way this Sunday at the Maricopa County Fair, around 4 p.m. If you're there, go see them!


Monday, April 11, 2005

Nancy Freeman sent this vital information along; I suggest you read it, then come back. It's THAT important. The Unitarian Jihad is out there, and if you don't recognize them then that's okay, I guess:



We vistied San Diego over the weekend. We went to the beach no less than four times. We hung out at Seaport Village for awhile and discovered that even though none of us had been to San Diego for about 5-6 years, it's exactly the same. Same restaurants, same stores; bizarre.

The weather was there, wish you were beautiful.


Monday, April 04, 2005

A great man died over the weekend.

Regardless of what religion you are, you have to agree: The guy did great things. He was recognized virtually anywhere he went. His balding head and assured expression just made you feel good whenever you saw it.

He crammed more living into his 84 years than you or I probably will.

Yep. I'm gonna miss Frank Perdue.

Oh yeah -- the pope died too.


W.C. Fields woulda loved this: One of the cardinals under serious consideration to be the next pope is a Belgian named (I kid you not): Godfried Danneels.

If he's chosen he almost OWES it to the memory of Fields to become Pope William Claude I.

Had a wonderful dinner on Saturday at a Vietnamese place called Pho Az in Scottsdale the other night. Good friends, good food...Godfrey Daniel, how could you ask for more!


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?