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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I AM DEFINITELY NOT SH*TT*NG YOU

I have a friend named Maryana. Among many other things, she is a colon hydrotherapist, and an expert at it, to boot.

As she likes to say, she knows her shit.

She wants you to know your shit too, so she's organizing a series of colon hydrotherapy workshops, on July 7 & 8 from 1-6pm.

That's right, for just $65 ($50 if you're a student) she will educate you on the finer points of having a happy, healthy colon, and how to do it yourself without spraying your bathroom with water that was intended for your netherlands.

For more information, contact her through her myspace page:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=97810033

(close any spaces that may be created by the long address above)

Hey, I got through that whole thing without saying ENEMA!

Whoops.

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This Saturday at the Paper Heart, my wife's troupe, Natium, becomes "Diabolique" and presents "Romantasy Cabaret." Dance, burlesque, stiptease, more tits than a dairy, and me busking in the parking lot before the show. $20 to get in. Maybe more at the door. You can find out more by bugging me for the website of the lady selling the tickets, which I don't have right now.

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Our long, sad quest to resurrect our long dead jacuzzi is finally ending happily. I bought a new one. It should come either this afternoon or tomorrow. And once again the Tuerff estate will be available for clothes optional soaking. Take a number.

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This burlesque stuff is getting popular. I just signed on to play a similar gig in August in Tucson -- more on that as it gets close.

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My musical wife, Nancy Freeman, is celebrating the arrival (in crates) of her 2-CD opus, "Stardust County," a mad, moving musical mini-opera with teeth. And werewolves. If you're going to Westercon in Santa Rosa, don't miss the CD release party. If you're NOT, then don't miss the second CD release party on Sunday, July 8 at 1 p.m. at Fiddler's Dream! I'll be there, you should too. (I sing on the CD so if you need ALL of my vast, collected works (har) you need to come pick up Nancy's new CD!)

Stay cool. Or at least take your clothes off and get comfortable.

TT

Monday, June 18, 2007

THE PLACES I GO, THE THINGS I HEAR...


Went up and played the Flagstaff Folk Festival on Saturday. Didn't sell any CDs but I had a really nice-sized crowd. They all laughed.

When it was over, a guy who'd come in to watch came up to me and said, "I heard you on the Midnight Special in Chicago a couple weeks back!"

This made me happy, 'cause getting played on the radio is one of the reasons I do this at all.

I don't care if it's broadcast or internet, hearing yourself on the radio is really neat. It means SOMEBODY thinks you're good enough to fill up three minutes of somebody else's life. And Midnight Special is a 50-year-old show on Chicago public radio. So lots of people have now heard me in the Chicago area at least three times!

Add this on to occasional plays in Wickenburg and Duke University, and that's a really bizarre tour schedule.

I just hope that guy didn't drive all the way from Chicago just to tell me that...

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I think Ellen DeGeneres is pretty damn funny. I don't care that she's gay. She'd be funny regardless. Which is why I think it's stupid that the media is making every attempt to create "shock value" out of the fact that last Friday, when she won a daytime Emmy, she did the unthinkable and kissed her girlfriend.

WHO CARES!???

They should be running pics of her holding up her Emmy. THAT's the story. But that's not SCANDALOUS.

Sheesh.

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IF TABLOIDS COVERED SPORTS:

"DIAMONDBACKS CAUGHT STREAKING AGAIN"

9-game winning streak, 5-game losing streak, 3-game winning streak...

TT

Sunday, June 10, 2007

SUNDAY MORNING BLATHERINGS

- Quickest way to risk getting diabetes simply by watching TV: "Meet Me in St. Louis" starring Judy Garland. Yeeeeeeeeech...

- I make it a practice (primarily just to piss off the rest of my family) to keep my musical tastes firmly entrenched in the last century, but after watching part of last night's Saturday Night Live repeat, I have to admit Christina Aguilera can sing. Really well. Her duet with Tony Bennett was great.

- If you missed Jonathan Edwards at Fiddler's Dream last night then you really missed a great show. The place sold out. We had about 135 people crammed to the gills in the big room.

- I'm playing the Flagstaff Folk Festival next Saturday at 3:00 at the Coconino Center for the Arts in the Art Barn.

Yee.

Haw.

TT

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